Ask a grandmother about the year after her babies were born and she will often go quiet, and then say something like: "It was a hard year. We didn't talk about those things."
Postpartum depression wasn't named in her kitchen. There was no helpline, no screening form, no words for it at all. There was just a woman, a baby, a casserole or two, and the expectation that she would be fine — because her mother had been "fine," and her mother before that.
Many of the women who raised us carried something that never got a name. They called it nerves. They called it exhaustion. They called it nothing at all, and put dinner on the table anyway.
So check on the grandmothers, too
When a grandmother holds her daughter's newborn and seems far away for a moment, she may be visiting a year of her own life that nobody ever asked about. Ask her. "What was it like for you, when you had us?" It might be the first time anyone ever has.
And let them be part of the village, not just the workforce
Grandmothers are often the first call for childcare and the last person anyone checks on. The women who hold everything together have been holding it for two or three generations. Warmth is not proof of wellness — at any age.
This is why our women's collection honors every generation of the women who held it together. Some of them never got asked once. It is not too late to ask.
If you or someone you love is struggling: Postpartum Support International helpline — call or text 1-800-944-4773 (postpartum.net). You are not supposed to do this alone.
Sidebar Society donates $4.00 from every item in The Fine Print collection to Postpartum Support International (501(c)(3), EIN 77-0196208), through December 31, 2026.